how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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