I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
