WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
