I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
