oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Barsexuality is the new black.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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