But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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