i think my tv is drunk
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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