so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
