I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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