I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
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