I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize