been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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