Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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