I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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