Having a random hookup so left but love u
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
