idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
