Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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