i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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