what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
