help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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