It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I need moral support for this bender
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
