i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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