He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
