i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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