you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
my god I love twenty year old dicks
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
