going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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