i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
