How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
