Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
