I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
