kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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