its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
