I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
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I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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