I'm gonna have a badass scar
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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