so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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