i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
