is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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