An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
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I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
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A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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