Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
