you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
