I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
