Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.