so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church