The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
did you just send me my own nude
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.