Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
What changed your mind?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine