Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
