eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
