did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
well I can't set my house on fire every night
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
