My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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