You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i think i have two assholes
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
