I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
