I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
