if i died would you start the facebook group?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
