Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
are you so shy because you have an std?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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