I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
