My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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