what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I could fuck to npr.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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