think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
