I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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