nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
