I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
