Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
