dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
