It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
