i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
