he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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