.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
