Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
