Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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