Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize