i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize